Discuss embarassing condition! in the TalkCeltic Pub area at TalkCeltic.net.

  1. foxybhoy67

    Joined:
    Feb 26, 2011
    Messages:
    752
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    jock stein lower section 139
    Fav Celtic Player:
    Jinky
    Fav Celtic Song:
    Celtic symphony
    guys i really need some advice!

    i woke up this morning and felt something quite weird at my back passage!

    on inspection my mrs informed me i had a massive MUSHROOM growing from my *???!!!

    have any of you ever had this and what the * did you do about it?

    i was considering making a pizza tonight and thought maybe i could chop the bad boy up and fire it on it with a bit of ham?
     
  2. Xavier Woods

    Joined:
    Apr 19, 2010
    Messages:
    21,185
    Likes Received:
    32
    Location:
    Airdrie
    Fav Celtic Player:
    Erik Sviatchenko
    Fav Celtic Song:
    Willie Maley
    this forum scares me sometimes...
     
  3. D. Dziekanowski

    Joined:
    Aug 30, 2007
    Messages:
    1,683
    Likes Received:
    89
    You could keep it in the dark and feed it *. Or you could make a GP appointment.
     
  4. Rude Bhoy

    Joined:
    Mar 4, 2011
    Messages:
    5,295
    Likes Received:
    8
    Location:
    Béal Feirste & Doire
    Fav Celtic Player:
    Kris Commons
    Fav Celtic Song:
    Over and Over
  5. marti~bhoy

    Joined:
    Apr 8, 2007
    Messages:
    5,519
    Likes Received:
    1,283
    Location:
    South of Scotland!
    Fav Celtic Player:
    Henrik Larsson & Nakamura
    Fav Celtic Song:
    YNWA
    You sound like a fungi to be with
     
  6. faw cough Gold Member Gold Member

    Joined:
    Aug 30, 2008
    Messages:
    35,323
    Likes Received:
    3,810

    Maybe it is a bell-end.
     
  7. HunSkelper

    Joined:
    Sep 28, 2007
    Messages:
    8,090
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Glasgow
    Fav Celtic Player:
    Kayal
    Going to the doctor would be my first thought.
     
  8. The Prof Administrator Administrator

    Joined:
    Feb 28, 2010
    Messages:
    65,176
    Likes Received:
    46,132
    Location:
    Say Hello To My Little Friend ....
    Fav Celtic Player:
    Jinky
    My mate had something similar only it was a Pineapple.
     
  9. ourdaywillcome! Gold Member Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 22, 2009
    Messages:
    12,825
    Likes Received:
    2,965
    Location:
    Down Under.
    The scary thing is...

    I can't tell if this is a joke or not:56:

    lolololol
     
  10. Sonny Crockett

    Joined:
    Jan 3, 2011
    Messages:
    19,507
    Likes Received:
    16
    Location:
    Stubbsy Caribbean Resort
    Fav Celtic Player:
    Alan Stubbs/Jackie Mac
    Fav Celtic Song:
    The Billy Bhoys
    * take or joke?
     
  11. foxybhoy67

    Joined:
    Feb 26, 2011
    Messages:
    752
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    jock stein lower section 139
    Fav Celtic Player:
    Jinky
    Fav Celtic Song:
    Celtic symphony
    100% serious!
     
  12. Ruthless Scot

    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2006
    Messages:
    1,845
    Likes Received:
    1
    Ah, the old mushroom growing out the *, I hate it when that happens..
     
  13. foxybhoy67

    Joined:
    Feb 26, 2011
    Messages:
    752
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    jock stein lower section 139
    Fav Celtic Player:
    Jinky
    Fav Celtic Song:
    Celtic symphony

    ive heard of pineapples growing out of peoples *, even mangos, but never mushrooms!
     
  14. Dazza

    Joined:
    Dec 29, 2007
    Messages:
    11,641
    Likes Received:
    3,152
    Fav Celtic Player:
    Boruc
    It's called fungass.
     
  15. mallow-csc

    Joined:
    Nov 7, 2010
    Messages:
    149
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    co.cork, originally airdrie
    Fav Celtic Player:
    Henrik
    Fav Celtic Song:
    Four Leaf Clover
    you sure it wasn't a magic mushroom you had last night?
     
  16. garryakastubbsy

    Joined:
    Jan 7, 2008
    Messages:
    672
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Denny
    Fav Celtic Player:
    Izzy
    Fav Celtic Song:
    lord of the wing
    You need to invest in a thing called toilet roll!
     
  17. HectorTheTaxman Formerly The Spider

    Joined:
    May 28, 2010
    Messages:
    11,325
    Likes Received:
    287
    Location:
    Glasgow
    Fav Celtic Song:
    Fields of Athenry
  18. celticnuts!

    Joined:
    Jul 29, 2008
    Messages:
    100
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    South ARD MHACHA
    Fav Celtic Player:
    mc geady & broony
    Holy * i,ve heard it all now,ll never look at another mushroom the same way!
     
  19. Ciaran-Celtic1

    Joined:
    Feb 24, 2010
    Messages:
    981
    Likes Received:
    0
    :56: This is just weird
     
  20. KhingLarsson

    Joined:
    Mar 6, 2011
    Messages:
    1,350
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Ireland
    Very strange :56: my first thought if I discovered that I had fungus growing out of my * would be going to the GP and maybe getting some anti fungal cream. Seriously though a mushroom? :56: I've heard of fungal infections but an actual mushroom? :56: :56: