Trivial things that make you happy.

When laxatives actually work

 

I stopped smoking yesterday,wasn’t going to buy anymore..dropped a couple of coins earlier and one rolled under bed..got coins back and found a packet with about 18 still left in it…* I needed one.Up the sun *!

 

Neil Diamond song - Forever in Blue Jeans.

 

When you can walk down the supermarket aisles, and walk right by the chocolate and crisps lanes every time, you know you have cracked it.

The key for me every time is save money, don't get fat, and will avoid diabetes.

 

No-one can say you are full of * now then mate

If you have any left there a few you could give them to…

 

Getting a car towed.

 

Beating them

 

People who believe what Mr Miyagi says and does, and take it for serious karate teachings and actual old Okinawayan wisdom.

It's not. It's scripted and made up for the movie obviously and Pat Moriata had an American accent and was from California.

When I was younger I believed it too. That you could do that praying exercise and chop through 6 blocks of ice. Or the Crane Kick....."if do right...no can defence.." Miyagi says. Well in that case why not just do that from the start of the tournament right through, and he'd win nae bother????

The referee also says at the very start of the * tournament, quite clearly, "No Full Contact to the Face Allowed"......
And Danielsan wins in extra time with a big blatant crane kick volley right to the chops.
Eh....you should have been disqualified ya wee *...and you shouldn't have snaked that guy's bird in the first place...ya creepy wee skinny interfering *. Nae wonder you got leathered on the beach.

It's all funny and brilliant and it never gets old.

"It's OK to lose opponent....must not lose to fear..." Mr Miyagi

 

Also realising that I'm going around with a whole load of Father Ted going on in my head and it's all sub consciously still there and hasn't went away since the 90s.

I never trust black socks cause they are usually VERY dark blue.
I am extremely wary in department stores not to get lost in the woman's lingerie section.
I think the next Pope should at least have won the Golden Cleric Award in the past to make sure that he is not just the 2nd best priest in the country.
I cannot listen to "Ghost Town" by The Specials any longer. Not even 1 more time.
I told the fraud squad "the money was just resting in my account"
And I'm away to drink a bottle of Dreamy Sleepy Nighty Snoozey Snooze. It'll take the misery out of making tea. But that would be an Ecumenical Matter. A pair of feckin woman's knickers....WOMANS KNICKERS!!!!

 

I do a * chat line in my spare time. Leave ma business card in phone boxes etc
I have my own unique fan group that have a fetish for gluttony, slobbery and revolting junk food fat * antics.
I sit in my brown y-fronts eating cheesy doritos with crumbs spilling everywhere and a big tub of Ferrero rocher with the wee wrappers all over my bedroom at ma maw's and chocolate smeared on my face.
People love that stuff.
I make good money.