1. Having trouble logging in by clicking the link at the top right of the page? Click here to be taken to the log in page.
    Dismiss Notice

As Oily Always Says On A Friday Night

Discussion in 'TalkCeltic Pub' started by Oily Oaf, Oct 12, 2007.

Discuss As Oily Always Says On A Friday Night in the TalkCeltic Pub area at TalkCeltic.net.

Page 3 of 3

  1. Oily Oaf

    Joined:
    Oct 9, 2007
    Messages:
    109
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    London
    Fav Celtic Player:
    Frank McAvennie
    Fav Celtic Song:
    Knees Up Mother Brown
    Fair enough Paulie, I'll have half a lager top then please guvnor.
    With EXTRA lemonade:47:

    That WAS wot you just said wasn't it?:86:
     
    Oily Oaf, Oct 19, 2007
    #41

  2. Oily Oaf

    Joined:
    Oct 9, 2007
    Messages:
    109
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    London
    Fav Celtic Player:
    Frank McAvennie
    Fav Celtic Song:
    Knees Up Mother Brown
    Enough of this idle chit chat boys, I'm off down the boozer to have a fight!
    And wots more if I dont beat the guvnor's daughter this time then I'm a * Chinaman:47:

    Free deliveries inside a 3 mile radius btw.
     
    Oily Oaf, Oct 19, 2007
    #42

  3. mikec2126

    Joined:
    Dec 14, 2005
    Messages:
    1,247
    Likes Received:
    2

    Oily, I originaly did think that you were a bit of a "slippery" character, pardon the pun " apples and pears, and all that ",

    I think yer good crack, and we could do with more entertaining characters on board like you!


    See ye down in the old Kent road
     
    mikec2126, Oct 19, 2007
    #43

  4. Oily Oaf

    Joined:
    Oct 9, 2007
    Messages:
    109
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    London
    Fav Celtic Player:
    Frank McAvennie
    Fav Celtic Song:
    Knees Up Mother Brown
    Cheers Mike:50:

    You won't see this bacardi breezer down The Old Kent Road though mate.
    That's * bandit country!
    The only time the West Ham go to that khazi is on "special occasions like this one. Enjoy
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aWGDXKSxjn0
     
    Oily Oaf, Oct 20, 2007
    #44

  5. Oily Oaf

    Joined:
    Oct 9, 2007
    Messages:
    109
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    London
    Fav Celtic Player:
    Frank McAvennie
    Fav Celtic Song:
    Knees Up Mother Brown
    Now then boys first up I have to apologise for my no show last Friday.
    I tried to make it but I was srtill in Lisbon General Infirmary having a number of small daggers removed from me back and a ceremonial cutlass extricated from the left cheek of me *.
    I KNEW I shouldn't have worn those 1966 Union Jack shorts fellas:54:

    Anyway on with the show and to bring a little smile to those chubby little Jocky cheeks I give you this little blinder.

    A West Ham fan, a Celtic fan and a Rangers fan are down the drinker having a scrimmmage when the West Ham boy says "My old woman's a dozy mare, she went to the doctors for a checkup and she's not even ill"
    "Tell me about it" says the Celtic geezer "Mine went to the dentist today for a 6 monthly checkup and she aint even got toothache"
    So not to be left out the hun pipes up "That's nothing boys my missus has * off to Ibiza for a fortnight with 30 condoms in her suitcase and she hasnae even got a *"

    (bows deeply and applies antisceptic to stab wounds)

    Carry on:47:
     
    Oily Oaf, Nov 2, 2007
    #45

  6. Oily Oaf

    Joined:
    Oct 9, 2007
    Messages:
    109
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    London
    Fav Celtic Player:
    Frank McAvennie
    Fav Celtic Song:
    Knees Up Mother Brown
    Alright boys I can tell by the deathly silence that that wasn't up to my usual mighty standard so try this one on for size and if ya dont like it it I wont take it personally
    (attaches rope to bannister and drops noose over head)

    An essex girl and some bloke she met are playing a game of hide and seek,

    the bloke counts to 10 while the Essex girl hides,

    after about 30 seconds the bloke gets a text from the Essex girl saying:

    "if you find me you can lick my * and * me up the *,

    if you cant,

    I'm in the shed"

    I'm here all week boys:38:
     
    Oily Oaf, Nov 2, 2007
    #46

  7. Rosco67

    Joined:
    May 14, 2005
    Messages:
    6,132
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Dumfries, Scotland
    Fav Celtic Player:
    Big Bobo Balde
    Fav Celtic Song:
    YNWA
    Did you have to remind us?:86:
     
    Rosco67, Nov 2, 2007
    #47

  8. fiferjim

    Joined:
    Apr 23, 2005
    Messages:
    1,736
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Fife
    Fav Celtic Player:
    Naka
    Fav Celtic Song:
    YNWA
    We thought the polite thing was to ingore it like a mental patient making a scene LoL
     
    fiferjim, Nov 2, 2007
    #48

  9. Oily Oaf

    Joined:
    Oct 9, 2007
    Messages:
    109
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    London
    Fav Celtic Player:
    Frank McAvennie
    Fav Celtic Song:
    Knees Up Mother Brown
    Cheers Jimbo my son I knew I could rely on your support,
    I'll wear it always:86:
     
    Oily Oaf, Nov 2, 2007
    #49

  10. Paul67 Administrator Administrator

    Joined:
    Jan 17, 2007
    Messages:
    42,417
    Likes Received:
    8,807
    Fav Celtic Song:
    Let The People Sing
    Scottish audiences are tough nuts to crack Oily. Many an act has been ruined on these shores. I actually found the Essex bird one quite funny.
     
    Paul67, Nov 2, 2007
    #50

  11. fiferjim

    Joined:
    Apr 23, 2005
    Messages:
    1,736
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Fife
    Fav Celtic Player:
    Naka
    Fav Celtic Song:
    YNWA
    Was it a joke i though it was a true story??
     
    fiferjim, Nov 2, 2007
    #51

  12. Paul67 Administrator Administrator

    Joined:
    Jan 17, 2007
    Messages:
    42,417
    Likes Received:
    8,807
    Fav Celtic Song:
    Let The People Sing
    It was a true story, I just found it funny. :icon_mrgreen:
     
    Paul67, Nov 2, 2007
    #52

  13. Oily Oaf

    Joined:
    Oct 9, 2007
    Messages:
    109
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    London
    Fav Celtic Player:
    Frank McAvennie
    Fav Celtic Song:
    Knees Up Mother Brown
    Hehehehe Thank Gawd for that Paulie, I was worried that no * would know where Essex was pal:86:

    It's a bit like Inverness but the ladies dont bother to put their drawers on in the morning.
    * bless 'em :84:
     
    Oily Oaf, Nov 2, 2007
    #53

  14. Paul67 Administrator Administrator

    Joined:
    Jan 17, 2007
    Messages:
    42,417
    Likes Received:
    8,807
    Fav Celtic Song:
    Let The People Sing
    There's no ladies in Inverness, just men and sheep. :50:
     
    Paul67, Nov 2, 2007
    #54

  15. Oily Oaf

    Joined:
    Oct 9, 2007
    Messages:
    109
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    London
    Fav Celtic Player:
    Frank McAvennie
    Fav Celtic Song:
    Knees Up Mother Brown
    I'll ignore that remark matey boy but never forget that I possess an ordinance survey map of Scotland.........and I know how to use it sweetcheeks:47:
     
    Oily Oaf, Nov 2, 2007
    #55

  16. Oily Oaf

    Joined:
    Oct 9, 2007
    Messages:
    109
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    London
    Fav Celtic Player:
    Frank McAvennie
    Fav Celtic Song:
    Knees Up Mother Brown
    Wot? A kind of drinking man's New Zealand?:60:
     
    Oily Oaf, Nov 2, 2007
    #56

  17. Paul67 Administrator Administrator

    Joined:
    Jan 17, 2007
    Messages:
    42,417
    Likes Received:
    8,807
    Fav Celtic Song:
    Let The People Sing
    :56: I've been up there Oily mate. The shearer's the richest * in the town. Sheep wandering about with hardly a stitch on. Bit like the Essex burd.
     
    Paul67, Nov 2, 2007
    #57

  18. fiferjim

    Joined:
    Apr 23, 2005
    Messages:
    1,736
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Fife
    Fav Celtic Player:
    Naka
    Fav Celtic Song:
    YNWA
    You found it funny, i'm just trying to find an Essex girl....:icon_mrgreen:
     
    fiferjim, Nov 2, 2007
    #58

  19. Oily Oaf

    Joined:
    Oct 9, 2007
    Messages:
    109
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    London
    Fav Celtic Player:
    Frank McAvennie
    Fav Celtic Song:
    Knees Up Mother Brown
    I cant reply fellas I'm crying with laughter boys.
    If anyone ever tells me again that the Jocks have got no sense of humour I'll put 'em thru the * wall.
    With your permission of course chaps:86:
     
    Oily Oaf, Nov 2, 2007
    #59
Page 3 of 3