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As Oily Always Says On A Friday Night

Discussion in 'TalkCeltic Pub' started by Oily Oaf, Oct 12, 2007.

Discuss As Oily Always Says On A Friday Night in the TalkCeltic Pub area at TalkCeltic.net.

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  1. Oily Oaf

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    Fair enough Paulie, I'll have half a lager top then please guvnor.
    With EXTRA lemonade:47:

    That WAS wot you just said wasn't it?:86:
     
    Oily Oaf, Oct 19, 2007
    #41

  2. Oily Oaf

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    Enough of this idle chit chat boys, I'm off down the boozer to have a fight!
    And wots more if I dont beat the guvnor's daughter this time then I'm a * Chinaman:47:

    Free deliveries inside a 3 mile radius btw.
     
    Oily Oaf, Oct 19, 2007
    #42

  3. mikec2126

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    Oily, I originaly did think that you were a bit of a "slippery" character, pardon the pun " apples and pears, and all that ",

    I think yer good crack, and we could do with more entertaining characters on board like you!


    See ye down in the old Kent road
     
    mikec2126, Oct 19, 2007
    #43

  4. Oily Oaf

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    Cheers Mike:50:

    You won't see this bacardi breezer down The Old Kent Road though mate.
    That's * bandit country!
    The only time the West Ham go to that khazi is on "special occasions like this one. Enjoy
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aWGDXKSxjn0
     
    Oily Oaf, Oct 20, 2007
    #44

  5. Oily Oaf

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    Now then boys first up I have to apologise for my no show last Friday.
    I tried to make it but I was srtill in Lisbon General Infirmary having a number of small daggers removed from me back and a ceremonial cutlass extricated from the left cheek of me *.
    I KNEW I shouldn't have worn those 1966 Union Jack shorts fellas:54:

    Anyway on with the show and to bring a little smile to those chubby little Jocky cheeks I give you this little blinder.

    A West Ham fan, a Celtic fan and a Rangers fan are down the drinker having a scrimmmage when the West Ham boy says "My old woman's a dozy mare, she went to the doctors for a checkup and she's not even ill"
    "Tell me about it" says the Celtic geezer "Mine went to the dentist today for a 6 monthly checkup and she aint even got toothache"
    So not to be left out the hun pipes up "That's nothing boys my missus has * off to Ibiza for a fortnight with 30 condoms in her suitcase and she hasnae even got a *"

    (bows deeply and applies antisceptic to stab wounds)

    Carry on:47:
     
    Oily Oaf, Nov 2, 2007
    #45

  6. Oily Oaf

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    Alright boys I can tell by the deathly silence that that wasn't up to my usual mighty standard so try this one on for size and if ya dont like it it I wont take it personally
    (attaches rope to bannister and drops noose over head)

    An essex girl and some bloke she met are playing a game of hide and seek,

    the bloke counts to 10 while the Essex girl hides,

    after about 30 seconds the bloke gets a text from the Essex girl saying:

    "if you find me you can lick my * and * me up the *,

    if you cant,

    I'm in the shed"

    I'm here all week boys:38:
     
    Oily Oaf, Nov 2, 2007
    #46

  7. Rosco67

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    Did you have to remind us?:86:
     
    Rosco67, Nov 2, 2007
    #47

  8. fiferjim

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    We thought the polite thing was to ingore it like a mental patient making a scene LoL
     
    fiferjim, Nov 2, 2007
    #48

  9. Oily Oaf

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    Cheers Jimbo my son I knew I could rely on your support,
    I'll wear it always:86:
     
    Oily Oaf, Nov 2, 2007
    #49

  10. Paul67 Administrator Administrator

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    Scottish audiences are tough nuts to crack Oily. Many an act has been ruined on these shores. I actually found the Essex bird one quite funny.
     
    Paul67, Nov 2, 2007
    #50

  11. fiferjim

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    Was it a joke i though it was a true story??
     
    fiferjim, Nov 2, 2007
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  12. Paul67 Administrator Administrator

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    It was a true story, I just found it funny. :icon_mrgreen:
     
    Paul67, Nov 2, 2007
    #52

  13. Oily Oaf

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    Hehehehe Thank Gawd for that Paulie, I was worried that no * would know where Essex was pal:86:

    It's a bit like Inverness but the ladies dont bother to put their drawers on in the morning.
    * bless 'em :84:
     
    Oily Oaf, Nov 2, 2007
    #53

  14. Paul67 Administrator Administrator

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    There's no ladies in Inverness, just men and sheep. :50:
     
    Paul67, Nov 2, 2007
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  15. Oily Oaf

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    I'll ignore that remark matey boy but never forget that I possess an ordinance survey map of Scotland.........and I know how to use it sweetcheeks:47:
     
    Oily Oaf, Nov 2, 2007
    #55

  16. Oily Oaf

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    Wot? A kind of drinking man's New Zealand?:60:
     
    Oily Oaf, Nov 2, 2007
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  17. Paul67 Administrator Administrator

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    :56: I've been up there Oily mate. The shearer's the richest * in the town. Sheep wandering about with hardly a stitch on. Bit like the Essex burd.
     
    Paul67, Nov 2, 2007
    #57

  18. fiferjim

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    You found it funny, i'm just trying to find an Essex girl....:icon_mrgreen:
     
    fiferjim, Nov 2, 2007
    #58

  19. Oily Oaf

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    I cant reply fellas I'm crying with laughter boys.
    If anyone ever tells me again that the Jocks have got no sense of humour I'll put 'em thru the * wall.
    With your permission of course chaps:86:
     
    Oily Oaf, Nov 2, 2007
    #59
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