Michael Nicholson

He sat behind a microphone not so long ago and declared he wanted Celtic to be world class in every department. Well with that in mind he should do the correct thing & hand in his resignation. He's nothing but a board lackey. Promoted from within, with no experience or credentials for the role other than to serve the interests of those above him. Another parasite, leeching off our club and our fans.

 

Current dinosaurs are still dinning out on the success of that guys short role.

 

I'm not on social media anymore but remember when a lot of fan pages and the like used to promote the food donations and encourage people to contribute etc and it always done well. Surely there must be a decent sized chunk of the support willing to organise protests or banners against these thieves and not stop until there's change. I'd certainly contribute to something like that. Far more effective way of supporting the clubs best interests that buying one of the ugly strips and happy clapping.

 

World class engagement/communication clearly never made the list

 

* useless wee gimp. That's all he is. There for the cash. Another * grifter.

 

Celtic’s invisible CEO: The development of Baby Michael aged 1341 days.



To celebrate the 1341st day of Michael Nicholson’s silence as Celtic chief executive, I thought we’d start a new series on this blog by posing a very simple scenario.


What if Michael Nicholson had not been appointed CEO, but had actually been born in December 2021? Where in his developmental cycle would Baby Michael be now?




December–February 2021

Oh, how wonderful, a newborn baby!



His parents call him Michael. Little Baby Michael.

The future is already laid out in front of him. His great uncle Peter has promised him a nice job when he grows up, his great uncle Dermot has promised him a place in his empire. Like a kid born into a powerful family, he doesn’t need to worry about growing up hungry, cold, destitute or ever having to work hard to make ends meet. Baby Michael might as well have been born with a silver spoon sticking right out of his gob.








Week 1

Over the course of the first week we see Baby Michael open his eyes for the first time and start to see the world. They say babies can hear us and respond to our voices at this age, and Baby Michael is no different in that sense. He clearly recognises the sound of praise; he perks up instantly when told that he’s beautiful or destined to be brilliant. He cannot understand the words, but he instinctively knows flattery and that it’s about him.





Week 2


Baby Michael spends most of his time asleep. We’ve come to recognise that pattern over the 1341 days of his development up until now. These long spells of inaction are not an accident. They’re not a bug, they’re a feature. When awake, he reacts only to applause and soothing noises. He contributes nothing — *, he’s just a baby after all — but everyone around him insists he’s “a natural.” Anyone who dares to suggest that all this praise might turn him into a big head is dismissed as cynical or jealous.





Week 3

Baby Michael smiles. A lot. Politicians smile a lot, if you’ve ever watched them. Chief executives smile a lot for the cameras. They smile at shareholders when they’re being flattered. Smiling is a skill we learn very early, a response to positive stimuli. Children learn to use smiles to generate positive emotions in those around them and that skill never really leaves us. Even by Week 3, Baby Michael has perfected the technique.





Week 4

Baby Michael can briefly lift his head. He’s still developing his motor skills, still figuring out what he can and can’t do, but already he knows he doesn’t like people looking down at him and he would much rather be looking down on them. So, Baby Michael has the first skill that will stand him in good stead for the rest of his life and career, working in Uncle Dermot’s vast empire under the watchful tutelage of Uncle Peter.





Week 5

Baby Michael becomes fascinated with shiny things. He can track coins with his eyes. He enjoys wrapping his chubby little fingers around money bags, fingers which so far have only ever really grasped pens. His fascination with coins delights those around him. But there’s something unusual about Baby Michael which people have already noticed, and it’s not common in developing infants at all: his interest in objects doesn’t really translate into much interest in people. Babies are good at making eye contact. Baby Michael rarely does. That has already started to trouble those who see it … all except Uncle Peter and Uncle Dermot, who never liked eye contact much either.





Week 6

Baby Michael recognises familiar faces. He likes people who look and sound like him. Presented with anything different, he frowns and looks away. It’s also very clear that he only responds to praise and words of affection. Anything else is flatly ignored. Someone leaning over and trying to talk to him will quickly be met with squealing and wailing. Wave a bag of coins at him, or wrap his fingers around a Papermate, and you can hold his attention until it’s nap time again, which comes regularly.






Week 7

Baby Michael coos. Not words, just vague noises. His circle insists this is “elite-level communication.” No one has the faintest clue what he’s saying, but one of the great myths that will surround him forever is already with us. He has also started responding to another piece of stimuli. He responds to the sound of coins plinking down into his Celtic Park piggy bank, and it’s in response to that sound that he himself makes the most noise.








Week 8

Baby Michael learns to grasp objects firmly. He can now fully hold a pen … but still won’t grasp a human finger. It’s disconcerting to some people in his circle. He also has a peculiar fascination with paper. Blank paper in particular. He does not yet have the skills to make a mark on it, but he doesn’t seem to want to either. That, too, is very familiar to those of us who watch him in the here and now and who hunger for evidence of a plan …



Next week we’ll follow Baby Michael’s next stage of development. Unless, of course, he produces something we can talk about instead … you know, that plan we’re all asking about but never seem to get.