[Cross Platform] The Elder Scrolls V - Skyrim

Mystic Penguin · Nov 29, 2011

There also isn't a lot to do to be honest.

format · Nov 29, 2011

Mystic Penguin said: ↑

There also isn't a lot to do ro be honest.
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Hector · Nov 29, 2011

format said: ↑

How do you mean lag? There's no online play.
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Frame rate issues, seriously Whiterun is impossible to move around.[YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=81Cz9zefTW4[/YOUTUBE]

Hector · Nov 29, 2011

Jamesy Bhoy 7 said: ↑

If you turn off autosave theres less framerate issues, the patch was meant to fix it though.
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I did but after an hour or so it just starts again. Its worse in Whiterun hold so I avoid the place ha

Cathairbhoy · Nov 29, 2011

Jesus, is it really that bad on ps3?! Ive had that issue like once,vanished after a minute or so though and didnt return.

Hector · Nov 29, 2011

Cathairbhoy said: ↑

Jesus, is it really that bad on ps3?! Ive had that issue like once,vanished after a minute or so though and didnt return.
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For me it is anyway, makes fighting impossible.

Jamesy Bhoy 7 · Nov 29, 2011

Mines isnt that bad even with autosave on, agree about whiterun though ive noticed it myself.

format · Nov 29, 2011

Hector said: ↑

Frame rate issues, seriously Whiterun is impossible to move around.[YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=81Cz9zefTW4[/YOUTUBE]
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That's pretty bad. I only play it on the PC so strongly resisting the urge to make some sort of elitist comment here.

Have you got one of the older PS3s?

Alba Gu Bráth88 · Nov 29, 2011

The framerate thing is an oddity.

You see my first 20 odd hours suffered no issue even with autosave on but as i delved deeper into the game it became an issue in parts. I noticed it only happened here and there when it was saving and thus only lasted 20 or so seconds.

Ever since turning autosave off though it's been fine,although sometimes if i enter a major hold it will still be unpredictable. I find (and tbh this is silly) if you enter a city late at night when everyones sleeping it loads as normal but if it's between 7 and 11 am with everyone walking to shops it loads really slow lol i know thats crazy but i swear it happens.

Also had odd occurrences where theres like a whole city walking about in the same location for 30 seconds before dispersing to shops/bars/ect.

By no means a game breaker though as it's rare that it will last much more than 30 odd seconds.

Maine_Bhoy · Nov 30, 2011

we're all going to *

http://christwire.org/2011/11/is-sk...rim-jobs-and-other-homo-erotic-sex-maneuvers/

What is Skyrim?
If you are a responsible parent, then the world of MMORPG first person shooters should be something of a foreign language to you. In games like Skyrim, players are teleported to far away lands that are cream filled with demonic spell crafting, violent shirtless blood shed and exposed not only Satanic critters, but bombarded with gay under tones of fecal fornication.

In the land of Skyrim, the player starts off as a captured terrorist, who has been caught plotting to destroy the golden empire by using dragons. Before the player gets to take control of his avatar, they are asked to create a character, which is purely the liberal’s way of teaching out kids that modifying and gender changing one’s self is fun and normal. Once the player has decided if they want to be a female wood fairy or an black ogre from Stormwind, they get to take control of their * spawned fictitious demon.

Right off the bat, the gay supporting software company Blizzard, shows the player images of decapitations and after the third of forth head chopping, a necromatic dragon appears and sets the player free from righteous punishment. Now that the player is free, they will spend the next 400 hours robbing people, killing villagers, crafting sexual items, fornicate with elves and other Harry Potter style animals and also learn how to conjure up black magic.

Throughout the game, the player is exposed to full frontal violence and replay style death killing finish moves. The graphics of this game are way too realistic for the type of blood shed they * all over the player’s CPU monitor.

The spells the player are taught are directly out of The Book of Wiccan and are far more dangerous than anything your child is watching on that Wizards at Waverly Place and Sabrina The Teenage Witch. When a player casts a spell, you will see the hand gesture is that of how homosexuals fling devil DNA juices at each other after a long night of fecal frenzy * assassinations. This is subliminally teaching your children that they need to go in their rooms, demon whack their sin staff and produce sin milk into their hands and than fling it in the face of the first person they come in contact with after their taint tugging session.

Once they player has finish killing all the people in Skyrim, his final battle is to have a mass dragon orgy with his fellow homosexual warriors he meets on his way and all take turns impregnating the dragon with homosexual dragon eggs. Once the dragon has been backdoor feasted, the player must kill it. The dragon needs to be killed, so the spirit of death and gayness can enter the new eggs and reek havoc onto the rest of the world. This new destruction will be playable in the next Skyrim saga.

SKYRIM LINGO: DOVAHKIIN – Is the supposed citizens of Skyrim, but is a code word that means:
D – Dirty
O – Orifice
V – Violation
A – Always
H – Hurts
K – Keep
I – Injecting
I – It
N – Naiant

How Would My Child Get Access to Skyrim?

If your child doesn’t have the money to buy this game, be sure they are spending countless hours watching their bitttorrents download massive amounts of band widths to illegal obtain this demonic grail of violent dragon *. Be sure to inspect all of their friend’s houses. Anyone of the evil axis of consoles; PlayStation 1,2 or 3, Gamecube or XBox 360 Live Kentic, could be lurking in one of their households.

If you do learn that one of your children’s friends doesn’t have proper parents and allows them to play on such vile machines, make sure your child knows that by playing with this friend will go against * and would send his soul to the fire pits of *.

What Gay Thing is This Gaming Teaching Kids

Skyrim Jobs – Skyrimming is a street term the gays use when talking about applying their tongues to the outer rim part of another man’s sewer spout, while that man is being hung upside down. See the gays have weird fetishes and are close to Satan. Satan speaks to them and tells them news ways on how to experience demonic orgasmic sin. Satan has recently taught our fecal fisting bandits that if you hang each other upside down and let the blood rush to the head, the * dumpster becomes more sensitive to touch and we all know gays wake up and fall asleep just day dreaming about sticking something up their own or someone else’s sewer hole.

If you notice your son has become more light headed around the house, this is a definite warning that he has been Skyrim jobbing.

Dragon Fisting – Dragon fisting is a new way the gays enter each other’s mud goblets with both of their hands. The difference with dragon fisting, is they make sure to grow their nails very long and once inserted into their low t-cell counted friend, they make a tickling movement with their fingers and sends their mud monkey buddy into a demon infused enticement of gay rage.

Make sure to inspect the length and smell of your children’s finger nails on a daily basis.

Icy Spear – The Icy Spear is the name of an actual weapon in the game of Skyrim, but on the gay streets, it is where a gay freezes their meat banana with ice cubes and than forcefully injects their partner’s demon tunnel with their icy flesh spear.

If you notice that you never have ice cubes in your freeze, be sure that your son is freezing the * caverns of other men in the neighborhood.
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Alba Gu Bráth88 · Nov 30, 2011

what a plank.

Mind you my gran once said computer games in general are the devils work! Shes a jobby biscuit though so she has an excuse

MacKinnon10 · Dec 1, 2011

Havent been on here as i got thoroughly addicted. Mind blown. One thing annoys me, see that patch released yesterday... does anyone else have this one cunting dragon (one that i need to kill for Ulfric Sotrmcloak!) FLYING BACKWARDS! and lagging to *?

Captain_Mjällby · Dec 5, 2011

MacKinnon10 said: ↑

Havent been on here as i got thoroughly addicted. Mind blown. One thing annoys me, see that patch released yesterday... does anyone else have this one cunting dragon (one that i need to kill for Ulfric Sotrmcloak!) FLYING BACKWARDS! and lagging to *?
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Apparently a common bug, the patch has created just as much problems as it fixed apparently..

Alba Gu Bráth88 · Dec 5, 2011

I must be so jammy honestly. I've only had 1 bug in all the hours I've spent in Skyrim and that was a whole city conversing at once in a tiny stairwell of a building in whitehall LOL There was about 30 NPC's just clambering all over each other and chatting.

Now that av said that i bet i get a game killer tonight. (*goes to back up his saves)

MartinR · Dec 5, 2011

No played skyrim in over a week!! Getting back to it asap I've done all the main mission and main guild missions and think I've only got about 8-10 other ane a few misc missions. Thinking of starting again.

BigWilly. · Dec 5, 2011

I havent noticed any problems with lag and I have an old PS3 and have autosave on

Alba Gu Bráth88 · Dec 5, 2011

Mine is an old launch 60 gig so maybe the older models are actually built better? Lol it was the same in RDR I never had any issues on that and the shimmer/haggles where never there. :O

Dead odd that some get bugs yet others don't. What is even odder is you can have no bugs at all while loads do yet you get tons when a patch comes out. Hate that.

Alba Gu Bráth88 · Dec 5, 2011

Meant jaggies not haggles lol

Jamesy Bhoy 7 · Dec 5, 2011

Daedric armour is epic, the daedric quests are probably the best aswell.
Btw the Dark brotherhood ending was cruel man.

Roadrunner · Dec 5, 2011

I'm head of the dark brotherhood loved there quests , and I'm the dean of winter hold college !!!! Don't know what guild to do next any suggestions ?

[Cross Platform] The Elder Scrolls V - Skyrim

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