best sayings you know /heard

there's so much * comes out of your mouth your * is getting jealous

 

He's so far in the Closet, He's just got into Narnia. (or any varition on it) = Used to describe someone who act's very camp but isn't gay.
Elton John was married= Used when someone tries to prove a statement by example.
A gay baby's just been born= Used to brake an awkward silence.
All for one, one for * all.
Your the worse footballer i've ever seen, and i've seen Heskey play.
He gets a stiffy walking past the mirror = used for vain people.
We'll cross that bridge when we get to it= for when you don't know what your doing next.
For all the bridges around there doesn't seem to be a lot of lakes. = When someones uses the one above to much.

 

ma wifes got a face like a bullbug chewing a wasp
she knows a hardons not for * over a high wall

 

never argue with an idiot ,
they will drag you down to their level,
& beat you with experience.


I cant believe that out of 10,000,000 sperm
you were the quickest

 

Pennsylvania: One side is Deebo, the other side is Alabama

 

"she's drippin like a * fridge", describing a woman you reckon fancies you!! lol

"ooohh he called your maw a cow", if some one says something cheeky to someone else in your company, regardless what the insult it, be it mother related or not!!
2 of ma favourites

 

At golf,a bad shot that ends up a no bad shot. (THE SISTER-IN-LAW)your up there and you know you should"nt be..nice ice breaker in a tight match.lol

 

"A man is accepted into church for what he believes, and turned out for what he knows"

- Mark Twain

 

* thats brilliant

but of is a preposition btw should be "i would have". both sound the same during speech i.e. are homophones. but mean completely different things.

 

Talking about a nice bird, "A'd be intae that like a dug eating beetroot" :icon_mrgreen:

 

Went to a strip club in Ibiza, and got asked to go to another one up the street. The buy was a wee renton, ma mate turns around to him and says
" here mate, a * oan a chin is a * oan a chin", then walked away.
Is a saying that we always say now to compare somthing to pretty much the same thing now.

 

Thats what you call taking a gamble and hope you win.:icon_mrgreen:

 

To you Glaswegians this might be old hat but I only heard this not so long ago.......

Was walking along Sauchiehall St. with a couple of mates and there was a lassie walking along in front of us who happened to have a very eye catching * on her. After passing comment on it my mate turns round and says 'aye but I bet she's got a face like a melted welly'. That * doubled me up for about 10mins.......I was walking along Sauchiehall St. and I just kept bursting out laughing......folk must have thought I was a right loony tune

 

At the end of this season Lenny will be The Cats Pajamas.

 

Something not very usefull is, "as much use as * on a fish"

 

I don't think mermaids would find that saying very amusing :icon_mrgreen:

 

Does your mouth bleed every 28 days= you talk like a *

he/she's got a face only a mother could love = ugly *

 

Chat-up line for a young lady who has been overdoing the tanning process:
"You been dookin fur chips?"

 

'Your about as much use as a handbrake on a canoe'