joke

here's another for eamon Sol Campbell has issued a "come and get me " plea to Charlton boss Alan
Curbishley after hearing their scorers the other night were Young and Bent.

 

Heard that one before, was really funny at the time Lol

 

how about this one

Bear,lion & chicken are talking about who's the hardest. Bear says "When I growl, the whole forest shakes". Lion says "When I roar, the whole jungle trembles". Chicken says "Well all I did was sneeze & the whole world shat itself.

 

Q. What kind of bees make the best milk?
A. Boo-bees!



another one

A married businessman meets a beautiful girl and agrees to spend the night with her for $500.



He spends the night but before he leaves, he tells her that he does not have any cash with him, but will have the secretaries write a check and mail it to her, calling the payment "RENT FOR APARTMENT".



On the way to the office he regrets what he has done realizing that the whole event was not worth the price. So he has his secretary send a check for $250 and enclosed the following typed note:



Dear Madam:



Enclosed you will find a check in the amount of $250 for rent of your apartment. I am not sending the amount agreed upon because when I rented the apartment, I was under the impression that -



1) it had never been occupied

2) that there was plenty of heat, and

3) that it was small enough to make me feel cozy and at home.



However, I found out that it had been previously occupied, that there wasn't any heat, and that it was entirely too large.



Upon receipt of the note, the girl immediately returned the check for $250 with the following note:



Dear Sir,



First of all, I cannot understand how you expect a beautiful apartment to remain unoccupied indefinitely.



As for the heat, there is plenty of it if you know how to turn it on.



Regarding the space, the apartment is indeed of regular size, but if you don't have enough furniture to fill it, please don't blame the landlady.



SEND THE RENT IN FULL OR WE WILL BE FORCED TO CONTACT YOUR PRESENT LAWYER

 

haha...good stuff to take my mind off school

 

I don't get it...

 

maybe your a bit young

hasn't no one explained to you abou the burd's and the bee's

 

*, just got it. Read it again and I was actually thinking he stayed at her apartment

 

Whats the difference between an onion and an accordeon?
No one weeps when you cut up an accordeon.