Simpsons quotes

1

 

there's millions of good lines. here's a few that i remember off the top of my head:

Homer:
"oh lisa you and your stories... 'bart is a vampire', 'beer kills brain cells'.
Now lets go back to that... building thing where... our beds and tv... is"

Bart:
"Thats just something thats made up to scare little kids. like the booger man or michael jackson"

Mr Burns to nuclear inspector:
"oh very well its time for your bribe. you can have the washer and dryer where the lovely smithers is standing, or trade it all in for.... whats in this box"
Nuclear inspector: "the box! the box!"

Krusty:
"ugh! i could pull a better cartoon out of my a.. (realises camera is on) ...woah! hey! wasnt that great kids!"

Homer: "20 dollars? but i wanted a peanut."
Homers brain: "20 dollars can buy many peanuts"
Homer: "explain how"
Homers brain: "money can be exchanged for goods and services"
Homer: "woo hoo!"
(homer trips over peanut lying on floor and $20 files out the window)
Homer: "doh!"

 

Tour Guide: Founded by prostitutes in 1865 and serviced by prostitute express riders who could bring up a fresh prostitute from Saint Joe in three days, Bloodbath Gulch quickly became known as the place where a trailhand could spend a month's pay in three minutes.
Homer: Three minutes. *whistles impressedly*
Marge: I didn't know history could be so filthy*
Tour Guide: First we'll visit the whorehouse, then the cathouse, the brothel, the bordello and finally, The Old Mission.
Marge: Phew
Tour Guide: LOTSA PROSTITUTES IN THERE!

P.S: I can also lay claim to being able to recite the whole Homer Badman episode from start to finish...that's the sexual harassment episode.

 

ma'am... i'm going to have to ask you to put some sugar on that celery or get out

 

Wiggum: Uh, I hate to interrupt your fun, boys. But, I got a few
complaints that your game is crooked.
Homer: And how?
Wiggum: Gee, I hate to close you down. Maybe we can reach a little
uh, understanding here.
Homer: I understand.
Bart: Um, hey dad, I.. I.. think he wants..
Homer: Not now, son. Daddy's talking to a policeman.
Wiggum: Let me put it this way. I'm looking for my friend, Bill.
Have you seen any Bills around here?
Homer: No, he's Bart.
Wiggum: (frustrated) Listen carefully, and watch me wink as I speak,
okay?
Homer: Okay.
Wiggum: The guy I'm really looking for, wink, is Mr. Bribe, wink,
wink.
Homer: (clueless) It's a Ring Toss game.
Wiggum: Alright, I'm shutting this game down.

 

I love that scene, but Homer's line is "And how!" in excited agreeance, not as a question.

 

oh well, it doesnt matter.

 

The one about the monorail that won't stop, when Marge brings a guy back from another town that had the monorail before Springfield.

Marge:Homer, I've someone here who might be able to stop the train.
Homer:Is it Batman.
Marge:No he's a scientist.
Homer:Batman's a scientist!!

Brilliant.

 

Lyle Lanley: Mono means one, and rail means rail. And this completes our intensive three week course.

Sebastian Cobb: I shouldn't have stopped for that haircut. Sorry.

X-Files Episode start with Leonard Nimoy: The following tales of alien encounter are true. And by true, I mean false. They're all lies. But they're entertaining lies, and in the end, isn't that the real truth? The answer to this...is no.

 

go on then