I need to ELECTROCUTE a couple of DOGS. How do I go about it?

I am at the end of my tether with the wee strays round here and the semistrays whose owners let them wander about the village and leaving cacks twice the size of the actual midget dwarf dog at my door or pishing rivers of nasty dogjuice against the front door, the main culprits being 'Brillopad', 'BellyDrag', 'BobbyJobby' and 'BastardRatHound'.

I got the idea of a deteretn from a Catholic priest in Airdrie years ago who hooked up the car battery to the VW thing on the grill so BeastieBoys fans wouldn't steal it, though he got charged for GBH in the end I think cos some wee ned electrocuted himself trying to steal it, so I was thinking if I can get some kind of metal plaque to cover the pavement outsidfe my front door which opens out straight to the street then the pooperwaffe brigade would get a nasty shock as legs are cocked and sphincters relaxed in readiness for a raid, and learn not to * at my front door and take their filth somewhere else since I imagine it's illegal or at least unconstitutional to elecrocute people. Anyway, that's my idea, I don't want to actually fatally kill the wee strompoopers beyond recovery, as that 'd leave more of a mess, and a frightful lot of paperwork and fines and *, but I think my plan is a good one.

How should I go about this and how feasible do you think it is? And what wires go where etc?

 

Did you not say your dog was in heat a while back ?That could be where the problem lies

Although I,d go for getting loads of glass bottles ,wrap them up in a duvet and smash the * out of them till the glass is almost powder.Then sprinkle over said area the wee * will soon learn to stay away .I,d also mix the glass with some salt for extra bite

Also the semi stray ones who * every where I,d scoop up there * and leave it on there owners door step after a while the owner will get sick of it and either kill the dog or look after it

 

posion

 

Its said that if you leave your scent( *) that a dog will stay away from the area you scented( * NEAR)

 

Hmmm. Save on lecky bills too. Interesting.

My mother in law wears shoes though.....

 

get a set of quality night vision goggles and a good air gun mate! and do a Jeremy Clarkson.

 

That's French for 'fish' is it not? Should I jump out and shout fish in French at them?

Why would Spansih dugs be feart of the word 'fish' in French?

 

Thats cruelty to animals though isnt it?

 

Window angles are all wrong for sniping. Unless there's a gun that can shoot round corners.

 

No, beacuase the dogs can choose not to walk on the glass. They'd be self-harming which is masochism. Kinky dogs. Wee perves deserve it.

 

oh right so we,ll just fry them with 10 000 volts will we .

 

or get one of these m8
Animal Repeller

 

Cheers JntBhoy, but it'd be going off all the time with the cars and people walking right past the door all the time.

Plus my heart's kinda set on the Electrocution Plaque now. Just wondering how to go about it. Failing that I'll go for PF's 'Sprinkle Suprise'.

 

FUERA!!

I used to have to shout this all the time on my way home from the pub, that was sometimes at the tramp trying to steal olive wood from my garden though!!

Used to work as well!

 

Pour bleach all around the perimeter of your garden tried and tested works. They hate the smell of bleach. I had a big problem with my wee dog (*) was advised to do this and had no more trouble. Shes booked into get dressed next week so i dnt have to worry anymore.

 

Didn't work for me. I want some volts.

 

Try the Toronto method:


Dog electrocuted in Toronto park


CANWEST NEWS SERVICEJANUARY 13, 2009


TORONTO — A dog was electrocuted Tuesday after trying to relieve itself near a hydro pole in a west-end Toronto neighbourhood, the second occurrence in three months.

A 25-year-old man had been walking his five-year-old Labrador-poodle dog, Mrak, in High Park around 2:15 a.m., when the dog stepped on a metal plate at the base of a Toronto Hydro pole.

"The dog instantly lost consciousness and went into convulsions," said Toronto police Staff Sgt. Mary Shaw.

Toronto Fire and Toronto Emergency Services also attended the scene.

"CPR was performed on the dog for about 20 minutes. It was then transported to an emergency animal clinic where he later passed away," Shaw said.

Police say Toronto Hydro crews discovered a live electrical wire at the top of the pole.

 

Thank you Lombardman. So it CAN be done. Excellent. Any legal problems with this though...?

 

Electrocuted!! - Video

Is this the type of reaction you want from the dogs ?