Best comment you've heard in the crowd

My mate tells one brilliantly. About a rather large fellow who sat lower Lisbon Lions, quite a character by all accounts. This guy loved a pie and it took all his effort to shout out his stuff inbetween gasping for breath or having a bite. At a particularly quiet time in the game, aimed at Gordon Marshall in the opposing goal, who must have heard him he shouts out:

"Ho!!...Ho Marshall!!....Mind that....time at Hampden....mind....mind when Henrik made a * o ya!!....eh?? Ya mind o that?!.............Ya *!"

Larsson proceeds to do the same thing again in this game, and 15 minutes later during another quiet spell:

"Ho!!...Ho Marshall!!....Mind that time just there earlier....mind....mind when Henrik made a * o ya!!....eh?? Ya mind o that?!.............Ya *!"

 

Not really a shout but funny none the less. Where I sit there is a family of 2 young boys about 8 y.o or so and the mum and dad in the row in front. Every game they all leave about 25-30 mins to get food and about 6 or so guys have to stand up to let them out. Every game one guy always makes a comment and had a few good ones so far. The guy usually turns back and says to us, "it is like * mass amount of times we have to get stand up."

The best one was a few months ago, the whole family come back with all sorts of food, dominos pizza, sweets and juices. The guy jokes with the wee guy saying, "you no get fed at home son?" The mum who is rather large and aggressive squares up to him in the aisle, eyes like boiled eggs, "gonnae you * off ya *" Since then they have been getting up and going down the stairs about 4-5 times a game just to wind this guy up!

 

Don't seem to get as many of the patter merchants nowadays as you used to though at games. Maybe more people scared to speak out because more families at games nowadays.

 

Seen two * scrapping outside Celtic Park once when everybody was leaving, one of them whipped their shirt off and there was just a wee shout from the crowd 'seen mare muscles in a jar ya wee *'

 

Mind after the huns went to Manchester, sure it was the first game we played them after that every body was jumping about in our crowd with those wee old school polis hats shaped like a thimble?, there was a fella who sat in the next row to us a few seats along, a man who almost everyone knew as "angry man", or "mr angry". Big baldy baw-heeded type fella that was never sat at peace always ready to go berzerk like ballistic bob from chewin the fat.

Well, Angry Man was the double of "mouse" from Vinny Jones version of mean machine, and jumped about all agitated like him as well. Angry Man was sat in his seat, head like a bolder with this tiny wee polis hat on his head absolutely ragin at every loose ball or failed shot.

Was utterly hilarious watching the world's most angry Celtic fan unintentionally ripping the * out of himself whilst wearing this tiny little comedic hat


Another one, not particularly funny as such, but I do always laugh. There's a bloke who sits a few rows down from where my seat is - he always comes in late (one would presume from the pub) - sits down for 10 mins, and always leaves to go to the pub 5 mins before half time......without fail

 

Aye steward pulled me at the Hearts game for swearing too much, the * stood at the stairs beside me for about 20mins aswell, ok fair does that kids go I get that but I wasn't exactly going * tonto.

 

At Leeds v Hull last season, there was an obligatory charge for south stand tickets, on top of the normal price. The extra cost got you a voucher for a pie and a drink inside the south stand. It was quite controversial amongst the Leeds fans.

We were sat in the opposite stand and the crowd were giving it "Don't be shy, show us yer pie" and "Get yer pies out for the lads".


The season before that, I was in the away end at the St.Andrews stadium for Birmingham v Sheffield Wednesday. There were 5 Brum fans in the corner giving the away fans dogs abuse and one was wearing a full suit. "Whose the * in the suit" was followed a couple of minutes later with the whole stand singing "That suit's from Matalan, that suit's from Matalan."

 

Can mind Jamie Hammill was at his usual utter * act, think it was the Hearts game Wanyama scored the screamer. He halfed somebody, guy 2/3 rows infront of me springs up, apopletic with rage, screams 'see you, see you ya *.... ya * *, a... a... a wish * misfortune on you'

Was the way the * said it, couldn't get the words out, couldn't find the words to describe his anger so generally just cursed his life in general

 

Was a weird wee cuunt him, especially when you take into consideration he's a Tim!

As for yer man that made the comment Sounds like the worst gypsy curse ever

 

Him and Scott Brown just * despise each other

A was in * stitches at that one. It's like the guy just couldn't express himself. Wee bald guy, red in the face

 

these fair cheered me up

 

I have the picture in my head.....and I'm buckled

It's amazing the amount of hilarity you've heard over the years at the fitba, yet when somecunt wants you to post it on the internet, your mind goes blank...

 

See the one I posted a page back? You'll find it amusing

 

Used to love it when some wee hard * always tried to have a dig at Balde, then you'd see Bobo just look at him and for the rest of the match every * would be chanting very sinister-like "BOBO'S GONNAE GET YE, BOBO'S GONNAE GET YE" - you'd swear you could smell the * trickling down the poor *'s leg at the thought of the big man after him like a big bald brown shark with legs

 

I did see it mate, and it doesn't surprise me in the slightest

 

Motherwell away this season. Guy behind me wouldn't shut up about how * Armstrong is. I told him to keep an eye on him 2nd half. Ended up scoring and assisting two.

 

"Joe Chalmers ya wee *, you skipped me in the queue at Dalmarnock Road Tesco!!!!"

-Inverness away a few years back.

 

I love the story Billy Connolly tells on one of the Celtic history DVDs about the guy behind him with the baritone voice chanting on Bobby Evans

 

* another one, a * shouting 'Danny Invincible, who the * do you think ye are? Carting about a name like that ya bawbag'