Development of hotel next to Celtic Park

No pal, Celtic only, imagine those animals from ajax that attacked the gallowgate staying in our hotel . Never happen

 

Probably won't be a Celtic hotel, will just be a normal hotel. Away fans will definitely stay in it.

 

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The Clumpany
Intangible. Untouchable. All things to some People. And a laughable concept to everyone else…
Celtic, Satire, Scottish Football, Sevco
Celtic’s Yurt Hurt
Posted on February 21, 2017February 21, 2017 by theclumpany in Celtic, Satire, Scottish Football, Sevco



Good Evening.

Coming to an entirely imaginary newspaper near you soon…

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Celtic’s Yurt Hurt As Gers* Unveil In-Tents Growth Plans

By A. Premier-Inn

Rangers* last night stole a march on their Old Firm rivals Celtic by unveiling plans for a spectacular new accommodation, museum and leisure facility alongside Ibrox.

The state-of-the-art complex, which could be completed as soon as the wind drops, promises to be a real money-spinner for the Light Blues. In fact it looks set to completely bridge the financial gap with Brendan Rodgers’ side, who have reaped the benefits of Champions League participation, and who have unveiled their own mediocre plans to open a so-called ‘hotel’.

The ‘Same Club’ Yurt will be erected on a patch of wasteland outside Ibrox and will sleep up to two people as well as being available to hire for meetings and… err… stuff.

A jacuzzi, sauna, and massive TV will all be available, although not in the Yurt. You’ll need to make your own arrangements. A swimming pool will be open for the private use of guests on days when the adjacent potholes have filled up with rainwater.

Hot and cold water will be available on hot and cold days respectively, and fresh straw will be laid on the floor twice-yearly, guaranteeing a perfect night’s sleep for any lost farm animals. Breakfast will be provided at no additional expense, provided that guests like the taste of sparrow and have quick hands.

A stay at the ‘Same Club’ Yurt will include complimentary admission* to the Glasgow Rust Museum [* not available on matchdays as the ground will be busy].

Prices for a night in the Yurt can be calculated by referring to the magnitude of the ‘going concern’ warning in the same club’s accounts. No discounts, refunds or hope can be offered.

Asked about the ‘Same Club’ Yurt, a Rangers* spokesman said “These rumours that it’s not an actual Yurt but a few old pieces of tarpaulin are absolutely outrageous. Rangers* are a cosmopolitan club with global connections. This is clearly the biggest and most successful Yurt in the entire history of Yurtdom. This is going to win us the Champions League and put Celtic back in the shade. Would you like to watch a clip on our website which shows you what it’s like inside the Yurt? It will only cost you 99p”.

Celtic declined to comment on the story, but a spokesman gave us a picture of Peter Lawwell polishing a solid gold model of the planned Parkhead hotel.

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#KeepOnClumping

NB Remember folks, it’s just a bit of fun…

looks like the mighty sevco have stolen the lead on us.

 

ajax are in the minority though.no as if its a regular occurence.anywhy whoever smashes it up there club foot the bill do they not?

 

Delighted by the plans, obviously looking at long term income strategy. I've no idea what this could bring in moneywise. But it's defo going to add to the stature of the club and how it looks worldwide.

I still think there is improvements to be made within the stadium itself, hopefully at somepoint in next 5-10years the full area around the ground will be 5*

 

Looks great, not entirely sold on the hotel idea tbh as Monday to Thursday for the most part it would probably be empty.

 

Celtic Park has one of the biggest conference rooms in Glasgow, it's 10 minutes from the City Centre and 3 minutes from the motorway.

Add in the Emirates and I think it would be busier than you imagine.

 

Maybe, we shall see.

 

Apparently we have a hotel owner specialist type * on the board too, I'm sure they've done the feasibility study on this.

 

Plus its not that far from Glasgow Green, Hampden, Barrowlands for some gigs. Its not as if staying at Celtic Park is well out the way of anything either its a 20 minute walk to the toon centre or 5 minute bus/train/taxi to anywhere

A lot of people coming would kill 2 birds with 1 stone as well, like if they are planning trip and see theres a nice hotel right on the door step of Celtic Park, they'll think "we could go to a game" or "I could take the weans on a tour of Celtic Park just by stepping out the hotel".

 

Don't forget the Forge

 

Big Dermot himself, he part own two hotels worth nearly £1billion where celebrities and billionaires like Beyonce, Jay-Z, Rihanna, Bill Gates, Tiger Woods and that holiday...



and



Rihanna actually bought a guesthouse at the bottom one for $22million, 4 years ago.

 

I know the changing rooms and space between for tunnel needs made bigger for that to happen don't know if that means a whole restructure of main stand and the roof of the north theirs poles that obstruct view that need removed which means restructure of that heavy expenses just to host a final that not guaranteed to get that's just my thought I hope I'm wrong

Sent from my GT-I9195 using Tapatalk

 

I'm sure we have a guy on board who knows about 100 quid a night, 4* hotels inner city. Can't see us shifting too many 22 million quid apartments in Parkheed.

 

Don't forget the Forge Retail, and the Forge Market aswell

 

Same thing though, he owns a third of the top one and 50% of the bottom one, probably £350million worth of his money tied up in them and they were both started from fresh to become two of the top hotels in the world. He must see value in having a hotel at our stadium otherwise it wouldnt be on the radar.

 

Can't see why there would be any problems on Glasgow City Council's end on granting Celtic permission for these plans to go ahead, it can only be a benefit for the area and Glasgow city as a whole.

 

Aye this wont be like the standing section which took years to implement. We already own the land, infact we have already built on it.

This will be a pretty straightforward planning permission.