When did you last punch someone in the face

And why did you do it,

 

I only do * slaps

 

Never have

 

In 2005 because he attacked my mate.

 

2003. Ice hockey fight in high school.

 

about 20 years ago.
some fud punched my wee brother in the pub while he was playing darts with his mate.
the * was just back from doing a tour with the army and was with his family.
I just walked in, tipped the table right onto them and started punching the * out of them.
nowadays I would just walk in, wag my finger at them and then sit down and discuss the link between violence and drink in Scotland.

 

In Bologna in Italy a few years ago some north African tried pickpocketing me at a bus stop.

I pretended I didnt know then casually turned round and punched him straight in the coupon.

 

When i was 18. Drunk argument with my mate, 10 minutes later bought him a pint and we were pals again. No even that hard cause i didn't want to hurt him (and i'm a feeble *)

 

Classic. Can just imagine it, actually made me laugh :smiley-laughing002:

 

About 2 year ago, drunk argument with a guy - which I dont even have a clue what it was about, he hit me when I wasnt looking then I turned grabbed him and was trying to punch him about while about 3 lassies were grabbing me from behind, so only got 5/6 hits in but got him about 20 minutes later when I seen him outside and apparantly headered about 4 of his teeth out as he's pals with other pals of mine and boys I went to school with who texted me later on. Ive seen him a few times since and we just ignored each other, was probably him who was acting like an *.

 

Christmas 2013 my aunties man hit my mum chased him to almost his house he swung I ducked and cracked him a peach and he studded the back of his head on the road. he was lying out cold cross eyed, mouth wide and bleeding from his head.

Honestly thought he was dead.. shat myself big time but he deserved it.

 

Roughly just over a year ago...

My younger brother late at night bumped in to 3 local * trying to make a name for themselves and had to be locked in tesco by security as the main 1 had a bottle. Comes back in to my old dears raging that they'd started on him so out we go and find them a couple of estates away and the 2 of them get filled in and only reason I left one is I've known him and his mum years, so he gotta slap and told to wise up who he's knocking about with..

That was that for a while and thought it was done but nowhere near it. Brother was getting a haircut and the main big * runs in and tries to do him with a hammer (was for show) as my brother didn't have a mark on him.
I came down that night because of it and the same * has come to our estate with his step dad who's supposed to be some old school boy and another * in his 30's who pretended it was his cousin..
Kept saying my brother, dad were getting cut up blah blah and my old dear walked past them from shopping and was hysterical as she knew it was to do with us as they were shouting about it. Anyway phone them up and they'd left telling us they were in x pub so 5 of us jumped in the motor and straight in the door and the pulled the guy infront of a busy Friday night 'you gonna stab my old man and brother are you, that right ?', * straight off said aw nah I didn't know it was this ***** and was trying to * lick and halt trouble. It spilled outside and even about 20 to 5 none of us were touched bar a few pool balls through the window and a load of police turning up..

They've never tried a move since,.head down anytime they pass now..

 

About 15 years ago,seen some * dropping something into my pint in the pub.

 

Punched myself in the eye the other morning putting a jacket on in the dark

 

New Years Eve part 2 year ago. Her fat dour faced uncle, always has been a cheeky * to everyone. We got into a wee dispute, called each other a few names, no big deal as far I was concerned. My misses then told her uncle to behave and he then called her a cow.

Bang! Punch right in his * big beak. Call me what he wants but start name calling my misses and you'll get smacked. * didn't even try to fight back big shitebag, held his nose and was whinging like a wee girl, "what you do that for"? Wasn't it obvious ya fat *:smiley-laughing002:

 

Do you live in a film mate?

About 3 Christmas' ago. Guy pushed me sister in a nightclub and had a go at her, left her crying. We seen him at the chipper afterwards, gave him a few smacks. Felt bad afterwards cos he cried when he apologised

 

On my kids life, that's exactly how it happened..

Your right though, in a film..

 

Couple of years back.

Was picking up my wife after a night out. Sat in the car waiting and could see an angry * outside the pub who was clearly spoiling for a fight with someone... anyone...

Missus comes out and the wee * starts mouthing off at her. I went over and told him to behave. He started throwing punches... and he ended up getting a sore * face.

I was cheered all the way back to the car by the grateful onlookers who he'd been hassling earlier! :smiley-laughing002:

 

Wasn't calling it bullshit mate

It's just a mental story