Celtic v Shakter Karagandy UCL Qualifier 20th Aug, KO 4pm, Live on ITV4

Things must be REALLY, REALLY bad if you of all people are wanting Stokes to play.

"Erm hello, is that Satan?"

"Yes, who mayeth I sak is but calling-eth?"

"Erm is me Tony.........has * frozen over by any chance?"

 

I will just be happy if we actually start the game with a recognised striker on the park next week.

 

He's the only penalty box type striker we have at the club! It wasn't a difficult decision to put Stokes in my starting 11. That team are worse than most SPFL sides as well so it will certainly suit the striker.

 

Completely forgot about Commons. Yeah, I'd have him in my side in place of Forrest.

 

What do you guys think about our team? Can we beat Motherwell, Kilmarnock or Hearts? Or are we too poor for SPL.

 

I think Van Dijk was exposed by how awful Mouyokolo was.

I know he's the sort of defender who's supposed to clear the ball and that's his number one priority, but the game is called FOOTball. He clearly can't use his feet.

It's vital that Boerrigter starts. We need to play more direct football and have less of this lateral passing *. The GB got thrown out because of lateral movement when the team are doing even more damage with their own version of it.

 

You'd probably get relegated

 

I reckon you'd finish 8th or 9th. You play some of the worst brand of football I'v ever seen mate, sorry. Never seen a team hoof it up the park as much as last night. You got the win though so fair play.

 

Just wait until they have to play 90 minutes when there bodies think its midnight. Lets see how they handle it! We should pummel these school boys at Parkhead. Lets just make sure that paradise is bouncing and give the bhoys a 12th man like we are good at! My tickets have peen purchased, and I personally can't wait to be there when we qualify for the group stages in the Champions League!

 

We park the bus only vs strong teams, here in Kazakhstan Shakhter plays some really attacking football :smiley-laughing002:. We can't keep the ball well, but we compensate it with pace. I think we could finish somehere 7th-10th:icon_mrgreen:

 

To be fair our leagues pish, this Shaktar team would probably do OK.

 

I assume they'll be leaving after their game on Friday night. That'll give them 5 days to acclimatize so I don't see that being a factor TBH.

 

Yeah I don't think these will be good travellers,that's what I'm pinning my hopes on..
Long distance,time difference,atmosphere and 110% pressure is what I'm hoping * these..
If we get an early goal they will crumble I'm positive about that..
There keeper looked atrocious so any chance work him,commons fire them on sight..
Much bigger park at ours so hopefully more space to break them down
Better crosses needed inbetween the last defenders and keeper as they look suspect like that..

Part of me thinks we'll give these a right good going over..

 

So it turns out having a squad of 30+ people without a single striker is not a recipe for certain success?

Who'd a thunk it.

The board thought we had enough to qualify without spending any money, and to be fair we did. This has been the easiest qualification route any team in history has had. We've been playing teams of abysmal quality and with someone like that chap Gary Hooper we'd have scored 4 in each game.

As it is we gambled, went for a bare minimum safety first approach and now we may have * up the greatest chance ever.

I think we'll win the second leg and scrape over the line but it's pretty shocking that we have nearly passed up our easiest ever opportunity to reach the CL groups.

 

we will pump them at parkhead they are * we gave away 2 stupid goals, fuming with the result as everyone else but sometimes * happens we WILL qualify

 

Not a single striker? Balde, Stokes, Tony Watt, Atajic...

Not playing one isn't a recipe for success.

 

Shaktar would be about a mid table SPL side I would say

Any * hoo, I would go with this team for next week or whenever the 2nd leg is

---------------Forster------------
Matthews--Ambrose--Mulgrew--Izzy
-------Brown---Kayal---Ledley-----
--------------Commons-------------
----------Stokes----Watt----------

What ginger pubes will probably play

-------------Forster-----------
Lustig----Moko----Ambrose----Izzy
Commons--Brown--Ledley--Mulgrew
--------Samaras--Balde------------

 

Not a single one of those is anywhere near good enough for Champions League group stage football

I of course hope that Watt and Atajic will be one day, but as of now, they're not. Despite Tony's great performance vs Barca.

It's actually laughable how much we miss Hooper. He would have scored half a dozen already this season. We've been completely dominating every game and it's as if the players are just walking around passing, hoping that Hoops will just appear and it will all be good again.

 

Tony Watt also played very good against Benfica when he came on. He's a better bet than no striker.

We also have no clue if Balde is capable.

Stokes is good enough for me but we've all been through that before.