sick excuse so dont need to work for old firm

Explosive diarrhea

 

You work in a pub , so the football will most likely be on for you to watch and there is plenty of booze for you to have a few sneaky swally's.

 

You've not already applied for the day off have you? Most likley they will click on if your off sick on a day you've aleady applied for to be off employers aren't that stupid they will click on mate.

Most likely pull your sickie on Saturday then carry it through till Tuesday and forget about applying for time off and you should be fine.

 

you un greatful b millions of people out of work hang your head in shame man, do ur bite we will neeed refreshments while enjoying the game on sunday. lol

 

ya rasta man?

 

Dog has siphilus

 

tell him the truth ,you want to go out with the lads and watch the Huns get pumped ,also you have to ask yourself whats more important ,watching Celtic pumping them ,or a job ,,,easy decision mate ,,,anyway have fun ,,slan anios mo charra ,,mon the hoops

 

You work in a pub, watch it on the telly.

 

broke my neck, but i'll be back on tuesday

 

Say you thought super glue was lube and glued your finger to your *.

Don't think there'll be any questions asked after that.

 

I've said this one before so if you want use this. Here's the converation:

You: alright can I speak to the boss?
Boss: Speaking
You: Hi, I'm phoning to say I can't make it in today
Boss: Oh aye, how's that then?
You: Well it's a bit embarrassing
Boss: Well I need to know, it's going to be * hectic full of mad tims/huns watching the game.
You: alright then, here goes. Now don't laugh but boss I've got really sore bawz.
Boss: You what?
You: I've got really sore bawz!!!
Boss: Oh, ok then. Just out of curiosity how did that happen?

You can then proceed to spout whatever pish * excuse from slipped in the shower cracking my nuts of the bath; got a bit kinky with the bird/missus; might need to go the doc as my baw has swelt up to the size of a grapefruit. The excuse is your choice. But in general your boss will not be too enthusiastic for an explanation.

 

kill someone off

 

that might just work.....




and that way you'll get the next 15-20 years off

 

You had a curry on the Saturday night and your shaking like a * dog, you have food poision



Or you could say your taking your goldfish on the Jeremy kyle show as it keeps popping the babies out like some of the guests on there

 

You're stuck in the blood pressure machine at tesco's..

You've got sore hair..

You have an overdue library book that you have to return..

Your friends being reincarnated so you have to go to the zoo..

You need to break in your new shoes..

You shat the bed and you have to move it from your side to hers to avoid you getting the blame..

You're snowed in..

Or just say theres been a death in the family.. I must have buried about 20 grans and grandads in the past for days off due to old firms..

 

Migraine, say your heads in agony and you cant see out of one of your eyes.. works for me!

 

before you make a * of yourself,why dont you just ask the gaffa for the day off.tell him youll make it up to him/her.

do you think your boss is that stupid to fall for a excuse....if so it doesnt matter what you say to him as he will be as thick as two short ones

or he may think your insulting his intelligence ,,but he will respect the truth if you can manage it.if you can manage it youve gotta ask him asap and dont leave it till the last min

 

I always use had a dodgy curry last night and i can't get off the *(best to phone in the day before the game or it's way too obvious) or make something up about a relative

 

tell him one of the customers told ye they were gonnae kick yer baws in, and there comin back for you on sunday